Consequences
by Spirit of Cosmos
Summary: San thinks over the events after the destruction of the forest, and ponders where to go from here...


Well, here it is! I wrote this fic in approximately 5 minutes, but its nicely done, ne? Atleast by my standards. Disclaimer – well, if I owned Mononoke Hime, do you really think that I would spend my time writing a fic for it? Please. I would be wallowing in cash and reading millions of adoring letters from rabid fans who are obsessed with the story! Jeez! What did you think I would do? 

Consequences

It's so hard… To face the consequences that Moro's death had on the clan… My brothers are slowly losing the ability to speak to me… each day their speech becomes more and more garbled; less and less intelligible. I sense that they are truly becoming wild… the urge to hunt, kill, and claim territory is becoming stronger every day in them… There is nothing I can do about it. I am not Moro – I cannot lead them, I am not their mother, nor will I ever be. 

The Ape Clan is dissipating. Slowly but surely, more and more of them have drifted away. And as for the kodamas… They cling to the last remnants of the forest, and try to rebuild. But so many were killed… I fear that they, too, will disappear in the next breath of wind, and be gone forevermore. 

The death of the great forest spirit has created repercussions that still ring in my ears. Now that that beautiful creature is gone, the entire forest has changed. Animals have lost their ability to communicate intelligently, and man had lost one of the finest creations that ever graced our earth. Now, that legend will become a myth, something to be wondered about with by children, and by those who never witnessed the beautiful transformation… It's serene expression… the wonders it was capable of. The only record left will be tales passed from one generation into another, and as those stories become changed by those who tell them, all facts will eventually be mixed into a huge tapestry of half truths and colorful deceit. And once again, I am faced with the fact that I can still do nothing to change that inevitable result. 

And as for myself… I can feel that I am changing along with the forest. No longer am I wolf… But I am not human. I linger between the two, trapped in a void; gray, swirling mists are hiding the path I am supposed to follow. One moment I am pure wolf, following my instincts and riding with the pack. And the next, I am human… I am torn between the two, and yet I cannot fully embrace either. I can never be sheer wolf, for part of me will always be human. And the same goes for becoming human… The title of Mononoke Hime seems to fit me well, for it seems all I have left are spirits… 

I was changed by wolves into what I was. I was changed by humans into what I am now. One particular man changed me so much I fell in love – that weak emotion humans seem to crave so much of. Ashitaka… I did love him. I do love him. He tried so hard to be the peacemaker… Why is it in all battles, the one who does not want to fight becomes the most despised? He was ever the lover – refusing to take sides when the odds were stacked so overwhelmingly high around him, risking life and limb to create a world where humans and animals could live in peace. He ended up becoming the unwilling enemy of both sides. I still loved him, through it all. Other emotions surged up and controlled me at times; the overwhelming hate, the need for revenge, the grief I felt at the death of my mother – but there was always part of me that treasured him, that cherished every moment with him… I wonder what it would be like to live out the rest of my life with him.

But the walls keeping us apart have been built so high, and it seems for every stone that has been taken down, two more have been stacked up. My world always seems to be falling apart… The only constant in my life was the forest, and now that that has been taken from me, I'm not sure how I will fill in the void it left… Yes. I was given the title of Mononoke Hime – but now, what am I the princess of? 

Well peoples, what did you think? This is my first fic in the Mononoke section – I've watched the movie a billion times, but never got around to typing out the ideas that popped up in my head. Anyway, please review! There are only a few fics in the Mononoke section, so I'm not expecting to get a lot, but please, give me some, kay? Thanks!

Spirit of Cosmos


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